Aaaahhh. Days and weeks after, the feeling is still thr. Not as painful as it was but its fading already. Not too sure if dat is good, after all she was really the one I though would b together with. As for now I kinda spending time with another person, some what a lil strangely because technically v got no feelings for each other. As I hope this is a healthy friendship cause good friends doesnt come everyday, for some people they never even hav any good friends.
I should say finally, my way out of this shit hole has arrived. Why i called it a shit hole cos it obviously is, it causes pain and its a fucking waste of time and effort trying to fix the situation when clearly the other party dun giv a damn about me. Or at times i think that person is a lil blind to see. Sry for being such an ass, but to a certain extend i noe im rite.
Some did advised me to forgive & forget. But i found hating her makes me feel better, probably due to my own personality. Surprisingly, even when i treat her badly she doesnt get angry. May b she does understand how i feel. Sadly that is not enough for me to forgive & forget. after all, She had made her own decision. That gave away her rights to seek care and attention from me.
At this point I have gave up on making you understand. God might be helping me and you leading towards a better life, this could be the right thing to do.