Phang Khai SIang

Phang Khai SIang

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Not letting go.

Back in the days when i was a boy. I was so crazy for food, more like I couldn't let go of them. You noe the feeling of have a super crazy good food that you are having and after you finish eating you still want moreeeeeee. You felt like lifting up the plate and start licking all the remains or even bite the plate itself.

The feeling is back but sadly it is not food, not something you can buy, steal or borrow from. =/

Monday, November 15, 2010

It was just a dream.

I'm so afraid of writing what I wanna say because it would turn out to b so obvious that the person would notice it if he/she does find out my blog. In general term, humans could be so selfish, ignorance and so inconsiderate. I am so God Damn Fucking Sad rite now and so disappointed that this is happening to me AGAIN.

Just imagine, you are a restaurant owner. Ur shop has a rival some where across the town and the competition is fairly hot. This customer walks into your shop, ordered stuff, finished the meal and asked to meet the chef/restaurant owner. So at this point you would b so excited and the conversation started and it continues well. Some where along the line you thought that this guy really likes your food and you thought he is one of ur regulars. Then the weird thing happens, he asked you for opinion about the rival and without hesitation you told him what you think. Finally when the conversation almost over, you found out that the customer is actually ur rival's regular and he is here today because ur the rival is closed for a week.

Without consciously knowing that your face actually turned sad and all you wanna do rite now is chase this customer away and ask him to never come back. This might look illogically for business senses but what if this is translated into relationship senses? Hard to get the picture? I truly understand but this is the best I can do without being too obvious. I constantly loses battle after battle. When I finally see a ray of light, life has to shut it down and put me back into misery. This is a lonely road to walk through.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

8/11/2010. How much I misses you.

When I'm hungry I eat, When I'm tired I sleep. But in a simplest form of relationship, things are never as straight forward as that. You have no idea how much I would hope that I could tell you how I feel right now. Doing so will only kill it and kill everything else that matters between you and me. I know I haven't really try things out yet and never really do things that what others would normally do. But the little things that I've done so far have only discouraged me by the reactions you gave me. May be its just me, may be i interpreted wrongly what you said to me that night. Those words that did not make sense now starts to reappear and slowly fit into the picture. A single sided effort relationship is not what I am looking, I could be naive but right now I still believe that the person I am looking do exist. I did believe you were that one but now I have more doubts than ever before. The visions I used to have had faded away and all that is left is total darkness awaits me.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Stuck in a Dream (A real one)!

Today I was having an afternoon nap. During that I had a dream, kind of a nice one actually =P. When i was having all the fun, i knew all these are just a dream but I wanted to make sure of that. So i started to think where was I sleeping and I couldn't remember!! After a few sec of thinking I told myself whatever la, just keep it going. hahahaha! And I did until I was awake. Awesome.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

End of an old chapter

Date: 30/07/2010
Time: 10:31

Note: Cloudy Weather, No one around the house

At this turning point in life, the stress level is high enough to cause breakdowns in a person's mind. So many things to think about and so many things to do. Naturally people around you also start to act differently, probably also because of the same stress level everyone is experiencing. At times really feel like pressing the reset button of life and start all over again. I've also learnt that material fulfillment will not satisfy the needs and wants of one's soul. In fact those material fulfillment might even distract what you are doing and make things to go even worst than before. Life can really be very empty and hollow if the soul is not satisfy, so hollow that it cause sleepless nights, so empty that it feels like McD bottomless refill.

Life aside, this game called Dirt / Dirt 2 is really amazing. Very realistic and fun, just like driving the real thing. Hope that everyone is having a colourful =)

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Wish List

If you are familiar with US TV shows then you should have heard such thing as a "Wish List" before, like a Oprah's Wish List. Yes I watch Oprah at times. Back then I wasn't able to come out with a Wish List for myself, simply because I know I couldn't get them and also I wasn't that "greedy". Well NOW I do have a Wish List (Finally!) and this is how it goes..
1) A REAL punching bag.
2) A new hand phone. (I dun mind a Iphone but I wanna try HTC)
3) A HUGE HD TV with,
4) Hifi Set with,
5) PS3/Wii with,
6) Bean Bags
7) A new car (Ford Focus 2.0 Diesel)
8) Wireless Mouse
9) Car Radio with,
10) Awesome sound system with a bass speaker under my chair. {BoOm-B0oM-BObm}

Now you see why they are impossible? Not exactly impossible but very unlikely I will spend money on all of these. =/ Anyways, all the best to those who are having exams.

Friday, February 12, 2010

[With Him-BabyFace]

Lately i really don't go out much, frequency of twice a week? Hardly speak to any1 except my parents and this could be the reason why lately I have the mood to write on this blog. Well I also very often will talk to myself b4 I go to sleep. I guess writing on blog doesn't make much of a difference from that.

Lately I really noticing the passion, love or craziness that I have for food. I do not dare to say I am "Pro" in this field of Culinary or FnB, in fact I really think I'm not any whr close to being a Pro. I just so crazy over food. For example, about 2 hours ago, my parents and I were at the shopping mall and we were discussing where to eat after we leave that place. When we were leaving, the parking lot were jammed up. Just before we successfully escape from the Parking Lot, my mum said "I think we better not go "there" to eat, so jam". So we then decide to eat Bak Kut Teh which is on the way back home, when we reached there, they again cancel the plan. Repeating potong my Stim to eat really piss me off. I'm seriously pissed, for what? I dono. I also notice that during/after my meal I will become a much MUCH happier person. Very noticeable change of mood. Actually I don't think such behavior is bad for reason being
1) I'm easy to please(consistent too)
2) Food is universally acceptable and pleasing
the list goes on and on

Food is a Friend, a Pain Killer, a DRUG.... Killing me slowly and happily.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

"gonna make gonna make gonna make it make it mine"

The title is just a line from [Jason Mraz-Make it mine] that i heard while I was staring at the monitor thinking what to write. Feelings are very, close to impossible to express them exactly in words. I just got back from the cinema after dropping off a friend. Once I've reached home, I sat alone in the car while watching the rain drops that fell on my car's windscreen. That feeling that i had was so relax and calm.

I like to watch the rains falls, I can still remember clearly the day that I spent an hour watching rain fall during SPM period. That 1 hour gave the strength to continue on to fight for exam. But the love didn't last long because at the same time I just started driving. People say do not drink and drive, I say it is worst to Rain and Drive. The obvious reason for me to say it is because my very 1st car accident that I had was because of Rain/West Road which leads to aqua plane to build up. So when the 2 things that I like comes together I got to choose only 1 of them. Naturally I chose to hate the rain but I do hope that more often that I could enjoy a good rainy day. Rainy days that I could just sit and relaz whie watching time and people to go pass me. I must say this is not the most exciting thing to do in life but sometimes little things like this will recharge a person's life to do something greater at later time.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

In Love

"What is In Love? What is Falling In Love?" Questions like these are the kind of questions that I asked myself a lot of times since God knows when. When i ask those who "had experience", most of them will say some thing like these:
1) Will miss him/her a lot(daily)
2) Will want to spend a lot of time with him/her
3) Will do a lot of things to make him/her happy.

etc etc.

If these are the definitions of Love, there was once a person that im willing to do all that for her. But, very unfortunate that back then I have to place studies in 1st place. Right now she is so far away from me and she gave her heart to some1 else. Once i was so crazy about her and waited for her to wake up outside of her house for hours. That's something that I might not do to some other girls any more. Im just so tired of this Love Game. Its too much competition to stay focus, too complex to be any fun. All I wanted to do is to be with her and Love her. Even if we do not speak a word or make a sound, to be with her and spend time together is all that i ask for. Knowing that she is safe and happy is such a great feeling.

Well the truth is it wasn't really that picture perfect, there are things that she do sometimes really irritates me. But think back about them makes me laugh some times. Not sure if she have much memories of me really. Cos it was really a 1 way traffic, I didn't really tell her that i like her also. But she is a very smart girl i must say, Im sure she knew it long ago edy. There are things that I did that was very obvious actually. I only wish that she liked me back then, but i doubt it. She is always the "high demand" girl, just like a magnet, a very attractive 1. At least I knew a few got attracted strongly, Im one of them ofcos.

Some times she's a bit dumb dumb lidat, (haha!) she's so cute and irritating at the same time. May be that is the reason why is she so attractive. Like a little girl, feel like protecting her from the world. Deep in me i know she don't need any protections, but she tend to open herself up and get hurt by her bf. May be its an effect carried forward by the previous relationship with another boy. Hope she doesn't hurt herself by her current bf anymore.

Why am i writing this? I'm not in desperation to get into a relationship. But it could be a good thing to have a girl to love and to be loved. I get a bit confused some times in the topic of Love. Hope I will find The One soon to spice up my life a bit. =)

Sunday, January 17, 2010


Dear ( ),

I really hate U. U want to lose a fren u gona get it. Good luck.