Phang Khai SIang

Phang Khai SIang

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Not letting go.

Back in the days when i was a boy. I was so crazy for food, more like I couldn't let go of them. You noe the feeling of have a super crazy good food that you are having and after you finish eating you still want moreeeeeee. You felt like lifting up the plate and start licking all the remains or even bite the plate itself.

The feeling is back but sadly it is not food, not something you can buy, steal or borrow from. =/

Monday, November 15, 2010

It was just a dream.

I'm so afraid of writing what I wanna say because it would turn out to b so obvious that the person would notice it if he/she does find out my blog. In general term, humans could be so selfish, ignorance and so inconsiderate. I am so God Damn Fucking Sad rite now and so disappointed that this is happening to me AGAIN.

Just imagine, you are a restaurant owner. Ur shop has a rival some where across the town and the competition is fairly hot. This customer walks into your shop, ordered stuff, finished the meal and asked to meet the chef/restaurant owner. So at this point you would b so excited and the conversation started and it continues well. Some where along the line you thought that this guy really likes your food and you thought he is one of ur regulars. Then the weird thing happens, he asked you for opinion about the rival and without hesitation you told him what you think. Finally when the conversation almost over, you found out that the customer is actually ur rival's regular and he is here today because ur the rival is closed for a week.

Without consciously knowing that your face actually turned sad and all you wanna do rite now is chase this customer away and ask him to never come back. This might look illogically for business senses but what if this is translated into relationship senses? Hard to get the picture? I truly understand but this is the best I can do without being too obvious. I constantly loses battle after battle. When I finally see a ray of light, life has to shut it down and put me back into misery. This is a lonely road to walk through.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

8/11/2010. How much I misses you.

When I'm hungry I eat, When I'm tired I sleep. But in a simplest form of relationship, things are never as straight forward as that. You have no idea how much I would hope that I could tell you how I feel right now. Doing so will only kill it and kill everything else that matters between you and me. I know I haven't really try things out yet and never really do things that what others would normally do. But the little things that I've done so far have only discouraged me by the reactions you gave me. May be its just me, may be i interpreted wrongly what you said to me that night. Those words that did not make sense now starts to reappear and slowly fit into the picture. A single sided effort relationship is not what I am looking, I could be naive but right now I still believe that the person I am looking do exist. I did believe you were that one but now I have more doubts than ever before. The visions I used to have had faded away and all that is left is total darkness awaits me.